i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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