She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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