Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
