i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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