Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
