How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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