i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
its liver damage thursday
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I see more hoeing in ur future
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
