well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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