i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Randomize