we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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