At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize