Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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