How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
