Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
