he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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