your parents love me but you hate me
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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