You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
