He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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