please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
