you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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