oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
