Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
