Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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