I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
