you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
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Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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