...so i touched it.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
