did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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