No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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