Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Randomize