The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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