Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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