the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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