totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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