it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
