Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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