You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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