If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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