piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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