I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize