Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I need a beard to bite.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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