I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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