Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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