Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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