I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
