So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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