just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
