Its about making memories worth repressing
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
