They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
