I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
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Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
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We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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