I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize