no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize