btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
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More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
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I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
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